哈佛大学幸福课第22课中英文双语笔记

哈佛大学幸福课第22课中英文双语笔记内容摘要：

这三层分别是依赖型自尊 independent selfesteem,独立型自尊 and unconditional selfesteem 和无条件型自尊 Dependent selfesteem,the two ponents of it,依赖型自尊，它有两个构成部分 First of all,首先 person with high dependence needs the accolades of others constantly ,有高度依赖型自尊的人时刻需要他人的赞扬 chooses whether it39。 s a career path or what to do this afternoon,不管选择什么职业，还是决定下午做什么样的小事 based on how much approval that will gain him or her 都是根据他人的认同来做决定的 Person with dependent selfesteem 有依赖型自尊的人 when it es to petence 在能力感方面 always pares him or herself to others 总是拿自己跟别人比 较 Am I better or am I worse ?Superior or inferior?我比他们好还是差。 比他们优秀还是不如他们。 Independent selfesteem is selfesteem that39。 s contingent on the self,独立型自尊是一种取决于自我的自尊 in terms of how I evaluate myself,这样的人在评价自己时 that39。 s my internal voice that39。 s speaking 用的是自己的意见 In terms of how my levels of petence are determined,他们的能力感取决于 it depends on how much I have improved,自己认为自己进步了多少 how much better I39。 ve got,改善了多少 how much I feel that I have fulfilled my potential 觉得自己的潜力发挥了多少 That39。 s independent selfesteem,这就是独立型自尊 not contingent on what other people say or think 并不取决于他人的言论或想法 Unconditional selfesteem is the highest level,无条件型自尊是最高层次的自尊 the level that Maslow would talk aboutthe selfactualization,也就是Maslow 所说的 “自我实现 ” what David Schnarch talks about as differentiated David Schnarch所说的 “分化良好型 ” or at the level of being known rather than desiring to be validated 想被了解，而不是被认可 Unconditional selfesteem is our selfesteem is high enough 无条件性自尊是指我们的自尊高到 we feel good enough about ourselves,让我们对自己感觉很好 not to be concerned with evaluations with others 所以我们并不在乎别人怎么看自己 or even with self evaluations 甚至不在乎自己怎么看自己 In terms of parison 在比较方面 We don39。 t pare。 we are interdependent,我们不会比较，我们是相互依存的 connected to others 相互联系的 So the example that I gave last time is of a book 我上节课举得一个例子是写书 Let39。 s say I publish a book and I have high dependent selfesteem 假设我出版一本书，我是一个高度依赖型自尊的人 First of all,I write it 首先，我写这本书 I publish it so that I can get accolades 我出版这本书，是为了得到赞扬 My primary motivation is external approval我的首要动机是获得外界认同 My primary motivation is wanting to bring out a book 我的首要动机是想出版一本 that will be better than the other books out so relative petence as well as externally otherdetermined 相比较而获得的能力感，以及取决于外界 So if I bring in a book and write a book 又假设我写了一本书 and I have high independent selfesteem我是一个高度独立型自尊的人 I write it and I evaluate it ，我自己评价 this is good work,or this is not so good,“这是一本好书 ”或者 “这本书不怎么样 ” needs improvement需要修改 In terms of parison,在比较方面 I pare to myself I39。 ve improved a lot since I started writing我跟自己比较 “我比 起刚开始写时进步了很多 ” This book is actually better than my previous book 这本书比我之前一本要好 My work has bee more authentic,more real 我的书写的更真实了 That39。 s independent selfesteem evaluation 这是独立型自尊的评价 Unconditional selfesteem,无条件型的自尊 the highest level that we know of。 是我们所知的最高 层次的自尊 I write a book and I39。 m not concerned about evaluation,我写了一本书，我不在乎评价 whether it39。 s good or bad of course ,I want to be better and better,不管它是好是坏，我当然想变得越来越好 but that doesn39。 t affect how I feel about myself 但这并不影响我对自己的感觉 I simply exist我就是我 I write the book。 I39。 m in a state of flow,我写了这本书，我处于心流状态 experiencing the experience我体验这种经历 In terms of whether it39。 s better than others 至于这本书是不是比别人的好 or better than I39。 ve written it doesn39。 t matter 或者比我以前写的好，这都不重要 What I39。 m happy about 我高兴的是 What makes me happy is bringing a good book into existence我写成了一本书 And I would be as happy 如果别人也写了一本书 if someone else wrote the book 我也回同样替他感到高兴 I39。 d be as happy or happier that someone else wrote a better。