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other, depending on the user) and because the author makes use of appropriate vocabulary and sentence variety, a score of 5 is appropriate. Essay Response — Score 4 In all actuality, I think it is more probable that our bodies will surely deteriorate long before our minds do in any significant amount. Who can39。 t say that technology has made us lazier, but that39。 s the key word, lazy, not stupid. The ever increasing amount of technology that we incorporate into our daily lives makes people think and learn every day, possibly more than ever before. Our abilities to think, learn, philosophize, etc. may even reach limits never dreamed of before by average people. Using technology to solve problems will continue to help us realize our potential as a human race. If you think about it, using technology to solve more plicating problems gives humans a chance to expand their thinking and learning, opening up whole new worlds for many people. Many of these people are glad for the chance to expand their horizons by learning more, going to new places, and trying new things. If it wasn39。 t for the invention of new technological devices, I wouldn39。 t be sitting at this puter trying to philosophize about technology. It would be extremely hard for children in much poorer countries to learn and think for themselves with out the invention of the inter. Think what an impact the printing press, a technologically superior mackine at the time, had on the ability of the human race to learn and think. Right now we are seeing a golden age of technology, using it all the time during our every day lives. When we get up there39。 s instant coffee and the microwave and all these great things that help us get ready for our day. But we aren39。 t allowing our minds to deteriorate by using them, we are only making things easier for ourselves and saving time for other important things in our days. Going off to school or work in our cars instead of a horse and buggy. Think of the brain power and genius that was used to e up with that single invention that has changed the way we move across this globe. Using technology to solve our continually more plicated problems as a human race is definately a good thing. Our ability to think for ourselves isn39。 t deteriorating, it39。 s continuing to grow, moving on to higher though functions and more ingenious ideas. The ability to use what technology we have is an example Reader Commentary for Essay Response — Score 4 This essay meets all the criteria of a level4 essay. The writer develops a clear position (Using technology to solve our problems will continue to help us realize our potential as a human race). The position is then developed with relevant reasons (using technology to solve more plicat[ed] problems gives humans a chance to expand their thinking and learning and we are seeing a golden age of technology). Point 1, using technology, is supported with the simple but relevant notion that technology allows us access to information and abilities to which we would not normally have access. Similarly, point 2, the golden age, is supported by the basic description of our technologically saturated social condition. Though the overall development and anization of the essay does suffer from an occasional misdirection (see paragraph 339。 s abrupt progression from coffee pots to the benefits of technology to cars), the essay as a whole flows smoothly and logically from one idea to the next. It is useful to pare this essay to the level3 essay presented next. Though both essays entail some surfacelevel discussion and often fail to probe deeply into the issue, this writer does take the analysis a step further. In paragraph 2, the distinction between this essay and the next one (the level3 response) can most clearly be seen. To support the notion that advances in technology actually help increase thinking ability, the writer draws a clever parallel between the promise of modern, sophisticated technology (puter) and the actual impact of equally promising and pervasive technologies of the past (printing press). Like the analysis, the language in this essay clearly meets the requirements for a score of 4. The writer displays sufficient control of language and the conventions of standard written English. The preponderance of mistakes are of a cosmetic nature (trying to solve more plicating problems.) There is a sentence fragment (Going off ...) along with a ma splice (Our ability ... isn39。 t deteriorating, it39。 s continuing to grow ...) in paragraph 3. However, these errors are minor and do not interfere with the clarity of the ideas being presented. Essay Response — Score 3 There is no current proof that advancing technology will deteriorate the ability of humans to think. On the contrary, advancements in technology had advanced our vast knowledge in many fields, opening opportunities for further understanding and achievement. For example, the problem of dibilitating illnesses and diseases such as alzheimer39。 s disease is slowing being solved by the technological advancements in stem cell research. The future ability of growing new brain cells and the possibility to reverse the onset of alzheimer39。 s is now being a reality. This shows our initiative as humans to better our health demonstrates greater ability of humans to think. One aspect where the ability of humans may initially be seen as an example of deteriorating minds is the use of inter and cell phones. In the past humans had to seek out information in many different enviroments and aspects of life. Now humans can sit in a chair and type anything into a puter and get an answer. Our reliance on this type of technology can be detrimental if not regulated and regularily substituted for other information sources such as human interactions and hands on learning. I think if humans un。
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